From Fragile to Feisty – in Forty Years or Less!
A Cautionary Tale to Help You Do it Faster and Funner than I’d Ever Dreamed Of!

 

There’s a line in the movie “The Departed” that fit my Irish Catholic family to a ‘T’ -  “I’m Irish, I’ll deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.“  Denied depression, alcoholism, and misogyny (among other things) were the soils into which I was sown.

Growing up in a family like mine,  I learned early that being quiet, nice, and well-behaved kept me out of the line of fire and relatively safe.  I became quite an expert at being nice and polite, somehow hoping that would draw the positive parental attention I craved.  But wounded people can’t give what they themselves don’t have.

Being a good girl and a good student covered up a lot.  Who needs to worry about a quiet little girl who is always “a joy to have in class”?  On the outside, everything looked good, so unless someone imageslooked close, they’d never guess that on the inside, this highly sensitive, gentle child was broken, hurting, afraid, and desperately trying to piece things together as best she could.

But years of cobbling together a life with missing pieces and a rag-tag collection to begin with created a far-from-sturdy foundation.  Fragile was the term my first husband used to describe me as a young bride.  (Bless his heart, he tried, but our marriage had almost zero chance of succeeding.)

Thankfully, a strand of faith remained a lifeline through my own bouts with alcohol and depression.   As I gained sustenance through that lifeline, I grew more aware of certain patterns I’d developed.  Patterns of behavior and beliefs that definitely weren’t working for me – and hadn’t been for quite some time.

One of the most debilitating constellations of behaviors were around being nice.  People-pleasing, approval seeking, avoiding anything that might cause someone else angst made me a nice woman.  A joy to be around.  On the outside.  Inside, was a mass of resentment, anger, frustration, and disappointment.  Mostly because I was too afraid to break the bonds of shame, fear, and self-doubt and tell the truth about who I was and what I wanted.

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 Fragile to Feisty and Feeling Free

It’s been fun.  It’s been hard.  There have been more than a few days when retreating to my little comfort zone seemed so much easier.  But the joy and sense of accomplishment and FREEDOM of being true to myself, trusting my heart, trusting that my God really is using me for a mighty purpose, those things have become much more of a draw than my too-tiny comfort zone!

 

This Gentle Women’s Uprising is what I believe I’ve been given to do…to embolden us of gentle character to honor this Divine gift and bring it forward together, in a movement, a wave that will let nothing stand in our way.  We are here to bring this gentleness to a world in a world of hurt.

Ready to be a force for gentleness?  Want a boost up?  I’ve created The Relentlessly Gentle Game Changing Session as your next step!  A special, 90-minute individual session with me will give you clarity on your next steps and activate that unique spark of Divine & Unwavering Gentleness residing in you!  Visit http://kamalamurphey.com/relentlessly-gentle-gwu/ to find out more!

 

 

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